This is by far the hardest blog to write out of all seven of the one-a-day blogs. It doesn’t help that I am completely over doing so much writing and that the hardest one comes last.
In my practice there is a strong sense of the poetic, it can be imaginative and emotionally driven, often my use of language is what brings the poetic forward, my wondering about things and writing them in a way that can have deeper undertones of meaning.
My work can also be highly personal and I use aspects of my own experiences to spark of a direction or investigation. This can also be a weakness, as things can be too personal and isn’t interesting enough, also because sometimes it can be hard to lift your vision above your own personal views and see a wider spectrum of possibility.
I can be very self disciplined when it comes to following through on a conceptual parameter or monotonous activity if I feel that the end result will be interesting. I think this stems from my drawing practice. My drawing practice also informs my practice in other ways, in a kind of clean but handmade aesthetic, a slight wonkyness at times, standardised sizing of things and often a lack of strong colour. Drawing implies an application of time and effort and these two elements are strong in my works both drawn and digital or object.
I can get too caught up in the aesthetics of something. I can have a clear idea of what I want something to look like and work doggedly until it looks the way I want it to, sometimes ignoring interesting things on the way or not allowing the work to evolve in a more interesting direction. Having too many pre-conceived ideas about a work can close off the works other possibilities.
I also don’t think about works (and readings) deeply enough. Especially once I have taken the work off the wall or closed the book, I don’t really reflect on it after that, I just move on with out really analysing the work until much later.
I can be too explanatory in the work and have a tendency to want to explain everything, lay it all out for the viewer when I should leave some things a mystery.
I also get sidetracked, can rush off down rabbit-holes in search of some illusive/elusive thing which I never fully realise or grasp. I used to think that this was just a weakness, that I was doing my art practice all wrong until I realised that I have always worked in this way, I get caught up in a thing until I am bored of it, then I drop it and pick something else up. I think it is what makes me a bit eclectic, I never finish a collection, I am always just starting another one.
I need to be more clear about my intentions. Why I am doing things, why I am doing them in that way, what it does to the work and what I want the work to do. Clarity. I need to ask myself the hard questions and ask them a lot. Maybe some kind of awesome checklist of questions could help.
Looking for overarching patterns has been difficult, concepts that stick around no matter what rabbit-hole I fall into. The ones I have noticed have been the personal, I’m not afraid to use personal aspects in my work, and thank **** my family and loved ones have always been supportive of that. (Emins’ Everyone I’ve ever slept with tent, here I come!)
There is also a grappling with technology and with meaning, and places where they meet, looking for the poetic in the wires and the methods. Trying to come to an understanding of meaning in technology, how the emotive works in relation to it.
The best way I think I can describe my practice is that I have a desire to always be finding out about something, to be following a trail until another scent crosses my path and I follow that one instead. Like a kind of wonderlust, which the Urban dictionary describes as: the desire to be in a constant state of wonder*. Also like wanderlust itself, where a strong longing or irresistible impulse towards wandering is in play although my actual wandering is done through books and research, not through travel.
*wonderlust is also used to describe the stage in a relationship or phase of love when you are not sure if you are lusting after or actually in love with someone, a period of uncertainty in the beginning of something that could be special, when relationships and experiences are still based partly in the imaginary.
Enough writing for one week. Time to make some work.